The old git is back

couldn't let this one go by!

it's been a while now since the fickle finger found its' way around the keyboard, hasn't it? bit of a difficult time lately. Recently four of my close friends had lost their fight against " C ". I've read a lot of blogs since my last post, some about cancer,some about gardening, but mostly those associated with model railways !! and decided that if there is just one person out there who enjoys reading my blog, then it's worthwhile starting up again. Sooooooooooooooooo, off we go. rum te tiddly tum de dum (musical interlude )

Here is a little something that happened to me today.

My darling son, who will be 14 years old next week, who is only 1 inch shorter than me, ( I am 6 ft ) and as skinny as a rake ( if he stands sideways and sticks his tongue out, you would swear that he looks like a zip fastener ) has outgrown  his bed, so as I just happened to be in town this morning, I thought I would pop into the bed shop ( "litierie", here in france) to see what they had. Ummmmmmmmmmmm.

Never ceases to amaze me, the way some french people have, of looking at you as if you have just arrived from planet zog and have no idea whatsoever of the way the earth people live or what they do.

Anyway, duly arrived at said bed shop, one car parked up, plenty of customers then !! it's kind of slightly before you arrive in the town and a square uninspiring box the likes of which the french are so fond of, so much so, they build them everywhere. LITIERIE, the big sign said, this is it then thinks I.  The first hurdle is to negotiate the front door, is it bi-sexual ( one that swings both ways ) or is it push or pull ? no sign, so I push, then I pulled, and open sezame, I'm inside surrounded by about twenty fridges and freezers, I'm awoken from my amazement by the loudest BING BONG ( to alert the minions of my presence ) and all one of him came scuttling out from the office, followed later by an older female minion, who I took to be the manageress. " have you got any beds in your bed shop?" I enquired. "yep, past the cookers and hobs and other sundry electrical appliances". Off I trogged, and found about 15 beds all double and all extremely expensive. 5, 6, 800 euros and that was just the base, 300 for the mattress and 200 for the headboard. That's over 1000 euros for a friggin bed. If I pay that much for something I want an engine in it !!!!
Back to the desk, perhaps they have something cheaper in a single.
"Hi, I'm looking for a single bed with drawers underneath for my son, do you have any?)
"We can order any of the doubles you see here as a single"
"But none of them have draws underneath"
"We don't do furniture" (first of the planet zog looks)
"But I don't want a chest of drawers or dressing table, just a bed with drawers underneath"
"We have beds where the top hinges and there is a big box under it"
"No thanks, I want drawers"
"We don't do furniture"  (2nd planet zog look)
The manageress then decided to join in with a third planet zog look and reiterated that the shop did not sell furniture and that I would be better off going to IKEA to find what my heart desired.

Soooooooooooo, a bed with a box under with a hinged top, is a bed. I'm ok with that, but a bed with drawers under is not a bed, it is furniture !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHO ARE THE ONES FROM PLANET ZOG ????

Thank God for IKEA and the interwebby thing eh!!

I have decided to start over again with my blog, you'll find a continuation if you would like to come with me over on afartinfrance

It would be nice to see you there and thanks for reading my musings 

normal service

will be resumed A.S.A.P.

being more than aware, that it has been a week or so now, since my last post, I do feel guilty, don't ask me why I do, but the fact that I have let that amount of time lapse before I put digit to keyboard. There has been good reason.

Kevin, a good friend, who had been diagnosed with cancer six months before I was, sadly lost his fight against the disease, on Monday. 
His cancer turned out to be very aggressive and with the help of the very best the medical profession could offer, he survived a year longer than was expected. He played in his jazz band and led as normal life as was possible. I will miss him.

A bientot Kev, thanks for being a part of my life.

what is it about

french drivers ?

I am more than aware that most countries have their fair share of lunatic drivers, I think, here in France, we have more than our fair share. I have been driving and parking here now for about 15 years, and the utter stupidity of some people still manages to amaze me. 

Yesterday, I drove Herman the camper van for about 3 hours in both directions to get the window fixed, all went well by the way, they did a grand job, better than new now. EVERYBODY just had to overtake, no matter what speed we were doing, the camper van is no slouch, with a big turbo diesel engine fitted. Don't get me wrong, nothing wrong with overtaking in principle, but not on blind bends or whilst there are double white lines down the middle of the road, boy racers you expect, we saw one of their cars vertical at the side of the road yesterday, (still trying to work out how they managed that) but you don't expect young mothers with their children overtaking or driving dangerously, I'm afraid it's quite a common occurrence most days whilst I am driving my Fiat Panda. Because it's a Panda people just have to overtake, no matter what speed I'm going. IDIOTS

Parking is just as much a problem here, especially in supermarket car parks, the designers of these places still believe everyone still drives Renault 4 or Citroen 2CV size cars, the spaces are all far too small for the 4 x 4's people drive today, and as such, this is where you receive the dings and bangs around your car. Someone bashed our new Rover a few days ago. ARSEHOLES.

I was once  sitting in my car in a supermarket car park, a few years ago, and  heard a car screaming in behind me, it was in fact, an old van driven by an old boy and his wife as passenger, it didn't slow down as it turned at the end of the row of cars and at the same speed, turned again, with a screech of tyres into a vacant space, well, not quite. (I think the old boy must have thought his eighty odd year old wife might be giving birth and mistaken the supermarket for the hospital). It actually managed to hit both cars, one each side of him and straight into the car in front of him, so hard it was moved backwards about a foot. Well, they both got out, expecting them to inspect the damage that they had caused, I watched closely as the wife inspected the front of their old van, whilst the old boy was too busy searching for the shopping trolley, she didn't even give a glance towards the other vehicles and after she had decided that the damage to their van was nothing much to worry about, she joined her husband in the great shopping trolley hunt. The three car owners were very grateful that I had witnessed the incident, and I hope the van driver had to pay up for his unsocial behaviour.

Why are some people like that?    ARSEHOLES.

the web

here's my sort

I think it's the right way up

I took this photo yesterday morning just outside the kitchen door, it's very warm here in the afternoon's, around 30 degC today, that's about 86 degF in old money. The mornings in contrast are around 10 degC, with plenty of dew and the occasional heavy mist. The spiders' webs are everywhere, I know a place on top of a local hill where the webs literally cover the whole field,  getting there on the right day at the right time to take the photo is the most difficult bit, I intend to try soon.

Busy day today, clearing and cleaning the camper van ready for the grand day out tomorrow, that's when, with any luck, Herman will be getting his new front window, only a six hour round trip, I hope the one they have ordered is the right one, ( I'll say no more today about French businesses , we will find out tomorrow ). I must say, up to now the garage has been very professional, and whilst I am there, I might take the opportunity to look around and drool over all those 60 grand models.

Our 25 year old Herman will do us. Next year, here in France, it will be classed as a "voiture de collection"  That will be nice.

the Acadamy

and a battery

At last, the new battery has arrived for my computer, it's been a while since I ordered it, I guess it took a long time to cycle to China and back !! Put it in the large hole at the back of the machine and waited and waited until it farted and grunted and eventually lit up. It's still the same old computer, takes an age to wake up, flashes a lot and sends me lots of messages, the meaning of which I don't have a clue about, but at least I have a spell checker now, although it says it's American, apparently, it doesn't do proper English!! So altho it dos not make scents, it wil bee spelt rite.

Whilst we are on the subject of languages, did you know that about one quarter of the world's languages, like the French, give inanimate objects a gender, Wiki says it dates back to the Greeks, but doesn't have a clue why anybody would think of doing it in the first place, (over active thyroid probably). It actually makes those languages very difficult to learn, as well as having to remember the words for things, you also have to remember what sex it is. 

Here in France, we have the Acadamie Francaise (sorry I can't remember if they are male or female), a bunch of academics whose job it is to decide which new words should be allowed into the language, and also to decide what sex they should be. Now, if you were a doctor, teacher, nurse or any one of those people who did a really worthwhile job, at the end of each day, when you got home you could reflect on what you had done and those people you had helped, what do those academics think they have achieved ? I reckon they achieve bugger all, and get paid a fortune for doing it.

If like me, you are not entirely aware of the sex of inanimate objects it can be rather embarrassing when you sit down to eat at the table, not knowing whether or not it is politically correct to cross your legs coyly or to give the table leg a swift kick because it's not quite straight, (mother always told me to sit up straight at the table). I do not even like to think of what the French think when I turn on my computer (whisper sweet nothings in its' ear) and then proceed to place it delicately on my lap, not knowing beforehand if it male or female. I suppose if I were catholic, I wouldn't do that kind of thing !!

sausage rolls

quickie

I like quickies, don't you ? Today, I made some sausage rolls, quick to make and better that the shop bought variety, (quick, if you know that you are going to make them in advance) if that makes sense. All will be revealed.

So, rough puff pastry. Weigh out 175 grms of butter and put in freezer until solid, (I always leave that amount in freezer all the time, for such occasions).
Next, when well frozen, weigh out 225 grms of plain flour in a large diameter bowl and grate the frozen butter into the flour little by little, you don't want a mountain of butter, so after each 50 grms gently stir the butter into the flour, so that each small bit of butter is coated with flour, when you have finished, add sufficient cold water to bring the mixture together,(do not over work!). put the pastry in a plastic bag and leave in the fridge to rest.

Next, caramelise about 4 medium onions. (cut up the onions into rings and place in a frying pan on a low heat for about 20 mins, stirring occasionally)

Next, sausage meat, sometimes I buy sausages and take the skins off, if not, buy the meat and add your own herbs.

Next, roll out the pastry, the same width as the length of the sausages, about 2 or 3 mm thick, and place the meat on the pastry, covered by some of the onion, bring up the two sides of the pastry, after having cut it, to completely cover the sausage and onion and pinch the joint together well (a little egg wash will help it stick)

Next, place on baking tray and with a pair of scissors, cut small incisions on the top of the pastry, (so it looks like a hedgehog), brush with egg wash and put in the oven for about 30 mins at about 180 deg C. (I normally put them on greaseproof paper on a tray that has a lip around the edge, because some of the butter does lend to leak out).

I generally use the same quick puff pastry mix for loads of recipes that would profit by using an ordinary puff, it's not quite the same, but very nice none the same, and easier to make of course.

As an accompaniment, how about some roasted tomatoes ? This time of the year we generally have a glut, so, cut some in half, add some garlic salt and put them in the oven, cut side up, on a low temperature for about an hour. if you have more than you need, blitz them up with one of those machines that covers everything in gloop, put into disposable plastic cups and freeze. I use that for pizzas and for tomato sauce.

Enjoy !!

why is it ?

people do that

Oops, got another warning light up today, on the dashboard of my "new to me" Rover. This one was to inform me that one of my lights wasn't working, that's nice of it isn't it ? Have you any idea how many light bulbs there are on a car ? LOADS !! Head lights, (dip and full beam) side lights (front and rear) indicator lamps (6 in all), stop lights, front fog lights, rear fog lights, reversing lights, and on some cars, lights that make it look like it is always Christmas !!! So began the search. 

Some are easy, others less so, have you ever tried keeping your foot on the break pedal whilst trying to see if the rear break lights are working ? My garage man can do it, (or so he says), eyes in his arse I think, or is it his brains ?

Any way, it turned out to be one of the afore mentioned break lights and I set about replacing it. As it is the law here in France that you have to have a complete set of replacement bulbs in the car I quickly found one and opened the tail gate (trunk for you Americans out there) to fit the new bulb.................... Hang on a minute, nothing is ever that easy is it ? and ........................no it wasn't.

Apparently you have to prise open two plastic (my favourite material !!!!!) flaps to reveal two screws, simply unscrew those and the whole lot falls out, SIMPLES. Well, I think a monkey had got there before me and done just that, but also, snapped off the screws and the plastic they go through, thus rendering the whole operation a total waste of time. What I hadn't noticed, were the wood screws holding the whole thing in place, that the monkey must have found in his wood shed and thought that it might be a good idea if he put them through the plastic and straight into the bodywork. To put the whole thing back, reverse the operation whilst aligning up six lugs, most of which were missing, and those that weren't were too short to see before it was misaligned. Job done, back in the car to see the orange light still on the dashboard.

This time, it turned out to be the reversing light, which just happened to be in the same place as the stop light, it was just as difficult the second time around, but at least the only light that is on now is that ruddy airbag light. Looked it up on the Internet, it's nice to know that I'm not alone, apparently it's because I had the audacity to move the driver's seat !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it kind of loosens the cables under the seat  WHAT. !!!

no: 1 why do they build cars like that ?

no: 2 why do people let monkeys loose on repairing their cars ?

no: 3 if it was the guy who had the car before me, give up mate, stick to bananas.